1
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:05,267
(male narrator)
Tonight, on a very special
part one

2
00:00:05,267 --> 00:00:10,200
of a very special two-part
season finale of Clone High,

3
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,400
it's prom season,
and Abe must choose

4
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,500
between the woman he loves

5
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,233
and that other girl
with the red hair.

6
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,200
Hey, Mike, bring up that shot
of the two of them roll--

7
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,667
Yeah, that's the one.

8
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,233
Well, I'll be in my trailer.

9
00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:26,067
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

10
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:29,000
* Secret government employees

11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,900
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

12
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,933
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

13
00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:37,733
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

14
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:40,667
* They're gonna make it
if they try *

15
00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:43,467
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

16
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:49,800
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *

17
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,533
* Clone High

18
00:00:52,533 --> 00:00:58,200
* Clone High

19
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,633
[helicopter rotors whirring]

20
00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:00,633
[grunts and gasps]

21
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:07,233
Marie Antoinette, will you go
to the prom with me?

22
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,333
Merde!

23
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,567
Anne Boleyn...

24
00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:14,533
You think people are going
a little overboard

25
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:15,967
on these prom invitations?

26
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,600
[horse whinnies]

27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,133
[horse screams]

28
00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:26,700
Helen of Troy, will you go
to the prom with Nostradamus?

29
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,767
Uh, no.

30
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:31,167
I knew you were going
to say that.

31
00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:33,433
Ugh, if you're gonna
ask a girl to prom,

32
00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:35,100
try to avoid
the usual clichés,

33
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,633
like your helicopter
or your talking fetal horse.

34
00:01:37,633 --> 00:01:40,333
Whatever, I don't need
some guy in rented pants

35
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,633
taking me to a dance.

36
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,567
Dance?

37
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:45,800
Joan, you know the expression

38
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,867
"Prom is the single most
important event in your life"?

39
00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:49,867
No.

40
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:52,433
Well, now you do.

41
00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:53,767
You want to be president?

42
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:56,567
Well, you better go to prom,
because all of them did.

43
00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:57,733
Plus, prom is the night

44
00:01:57,733 --> 00:02:00,567
where everyone
steps up a base, sex-wise.

45
00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:05,267
Uh, listen, Abe, I really
don't want to go to prom.

46
00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:08,267
Abe, why are you wasting time
on that eyesore Joan?

47
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,400
Shouldn't you be planning

48
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,967
on how you're asking me
to the prom?

49
00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:14,067
Which, since I'm Cleopatra,
will be the most original

50
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,333
and elaborate prom-posal
this school has ever seen.

51
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:19,167
Yeah, yeah,
I'll get to it, Cleo.

52
00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:22,367
Oh, Joan,
you poor spinster.

53
00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:27,400
I'll make sure you get to prom,
one way or another.

54
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,767
Whoooo! Whoo!

55
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,333
So, um, do you have
a prom date?

56
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,067
No takers so far,
Marie Curie,

57
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:37,067
but I can't wait
to tear up the dance floor.

58
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,833
And now that my testicles
have descended,

59
00:02:38,833 --> 00:02:41,467
I can't wait
for some serious dry humping.

60
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:42,767
Yeah.

61
00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:44,067
Dry what?

62
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,633
You know, like this...

63
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,200
[grunting]

64
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,467
But with your clothes on.

65
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:51,267
That sounds kind of nice.

66
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:52,567
Can't talk now, Marie.

67
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,133
Got to go find me
a prom date.

68
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:56,400
* Tra-la-la,
la-la, la-la *

69
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,467
(Mr. Butlertron)
Are you sure
making a documentary

70
00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:02,967
revealing your evil plan
is the best idea?

71
00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:05,367
Quiet, Mr. B.
It's on.

72
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,567
I first got the idea
for Cloney Island

73
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:10,533
after seeing the movie
Jurassic Park III.

74
00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:13,133
But my ill-conceived
amusement park will be filled

75
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:16,867
with human clones
instead of zoo animals.

76
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:19,733
It's as foolproof
as the amusement park

77
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,333
in the movie itself.

78
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,333
[phone rings]

79
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,433
[laughing]

80
00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:27,400
Stamos on line two.

81
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,367
Is it prom season already?

82
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:32,100
He beat me out for prom king
in high school,

83
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,733
and every year,
he calls to rub it in.

84
00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:37,700
John!
Good to hear from you.

85
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,800
[laughing]

86
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,967
Yes, I do remember that.

87
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:44,067
Yeah, you won, all right.

88
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,500
Uh, say hi to Rebecca for me.

89
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,867
Okay, sure.

90
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,733
I will.
Okay? Yeah.

91
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,233
[polite laughter]

92
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:52,900
Stamos!

93
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,200
Oh! There goes my whole day!

94
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,933
I hate Stamos!

95
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,500
Motherfu--

96
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,933
[both slurping]

97
00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:04,967
You know, Cleo,

98
00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:07,900
prom is an important time
for all teens.

99
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,933
For example, it's where
we all lose our virginity.

100
00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:15,367
[laughing]

101
00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:18,733
I mean, right,
we're all virgins.

102
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:21,533
Cleo, I have something
important to ask you.

103
00:04:21,533 --> 00:04:27,067
Cleo, will you please
do me the honor

104
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,767
of giving Joan a makeover
so she can get a prom date?

105
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:30,867
What?

106
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:32,233
Abe, even though
we're going out,

107
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,700
you still have to ask me
to prom,

108
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:36,700
and my invite has to be perfect
in every way.

109
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:40,433
Because, and this may have
slipped your mind,

110
00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:42,633
I'm Cleopatra.

111
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:44,067
Joan, I'm on it.

112
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:46,467
I'm just procrastinating
for some reason.

113
00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:48,067
There's no time
to explain why.

114
00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,967
But here's a little joke
to tide you over.

115
00:04:49,967 --> 00:04:51,767
I've seen the other invites.

116
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:54,267
Two words: Bor-ing.

117
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,067
[women chatting and giggling]

118
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,233
[women gasp]

119
00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,367
Catherine the Great,

120
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,133
you ready to do
the dry humpty hump?

121
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,133
Ah, get off your high horse.

122
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,133
Susan B. Anthony,

123
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,633
I got a dollar that says

124
00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:09,333
you got an addiction
to friction.

125
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,467
[toilet flushes]

126
00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:13,067
Eva Perón.

127
00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,733
You keep your distance!

128
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:19,067
I just want someone to love,

129
00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:22,100
dry hump, leave,
and then brag about.

130
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,633
Is that so wrong?

131
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,067
Get a load of that loser.

132
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:30,533
Talking to himself
in the mirror.

133
00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:31,667
You, handsome guy.

134
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,067
What're you looking at?

135
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,700
I'm looking at you, hotshot.

136
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,733
Your devilish good looks
don't impress me.

137
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:39,133
Well, what would impress you,
dreamboat?

138
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:42,367
Getting that shrimp cocktail,
Gandhi, a prom date is what.

139
00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:43,733
What, are you cuckoo?

140
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:46,567
What's the matter, turkey?
Chicken?

141
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,367
A fin says I get
the crybaby a prom date.

142
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,567
You got yourself a bet.

143
00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,267
You got yourself a bet,
pretty boy.

144
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:58,067
Ugh, why do you let that guy
get to you?

145
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:06,367
Abe, you mentioned
an important prom decision

146
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,933
that you made about me?

147
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,700
That's right, Joan.

148
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,700
I did, Joan.

149
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:17,967
Joan, would you make me
the happiest guy on Earth

150
00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:20,533
and accompany me to...

151
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,600
the mirror so I can give you
a makeover

152
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,267
so some other guy
will go to prom with you?

153
00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:26,233
Oh, Abe, of course I'd love--

154
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:27,733
Uh, make-what now?

155
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,433
Don't thank me yet.

156
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,867
We got a lot of work to do.

157
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:33,167
A lot of work.

158
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:35,800
Uh, in what universe
would I ever let you

159
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,067
give me a makeover?

160
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:40,600
In the universe
where I care about you, Joan.

161
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,933
God knows I should be busy
planning a fancy way

162
00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:44,433
to invite Cleo to prom,

163
00:06:44,433 --> 00:06:45,967
but I can't get you
out of my mind.

164
00:06:45,967 --> 00:06:47,467
I'm in your mind?

165
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,733
We'll have to spend
a lot of time alone together.

166
00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:52,067
Alone...together?

167
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,567
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

168
00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:56,467
Oh, Abe, I've been waiting
for this moment my whole--

169
00:06:56,467 --> 00:06:57,900
Makeover!

170
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,900
(men)
* Makeover, makeover

171
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,133
* Makeover, makeover

172
00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:02,800
* Makeover, makeover

173
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,533
* Makeover

174
00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:06,300
* Makeover, makeover

175
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,867
* Makeover, makeover

176
00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:09,600
* Makeover, makeover

177
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,233
* Makeover

178
00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,700
* Makeover, makeover

179
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,967
* Makeover, makeover

180
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:20,167
* For you and me

181
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:24,767
Joan, are you ready
to be blown away?

182
00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:32,067
[horrified screaming]

183
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,700
Joan, wait!

184
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,133
You forgot
your sexy vampire teeth.

185
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:38,867
[Joan screaming]

186
00:07:42,367 --> 00:07:45,733
[airplane engine humming]

187
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,133
Joan. Joan.

188
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,667
Go away, Abe.

189
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,767
I used to feel good
about myself,

190
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,500
and then I met you.

191
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:56,067
But, Joan, you're so close.

192
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:59,867
I can almost see the beauty that
is locked away inside of you,

193
00:07:59,867 --> 00:08:02,067
hidden far, far
below the surface

194
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,467
where no one can see it.

195
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:05,733
I don't want
to be beautiful, Abe.

196
00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:07,533
I just want you.

197
00:08:07,533 --> 00:08:09,167
To get you a prom date.

198
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,400
I'm two to three steps
ahead of you, Joan.

199
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,467
That's why I had
these flyers made up.

200
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,333
Hey, Gandhi,
funny seeing you here...

201
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,667
[chuckles nervously]

202
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,933
During our common
lunch period.

203
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,800
Yeah, that is funny.

204
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,667
Yeah.

205
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:28,067
[long nervous laughter]

206
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,600
Hey, you,
half-pint,

207
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,533
Junior Mint, pip-squeak,
Tiny Tim, yardstick,

208
00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:37,700
snack pack, wee fella,
brown leprechaun.

209
00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,567
Are you talking to me?

210
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:44,600
Now, listen, I'm gonna help you
get a prom date.

211
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,900
But at this point,

212
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,767
your ass is neither
round nor high enough

213
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:50,133
to pull in the caliber
of Betty I do.

214
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:52,733
You let the dogs out, J-slice.

215
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,800
Wazzup!

216
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,367
Let's start
with that crap.

217
00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:58,067
Your Gandhi speak
is all wet.

218
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,100
What?

219
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,133
You can't touch this.

220
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:03,233
Here, read this.

221
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:04,567
[clears throat]

222
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,633
For supper,
I want a party platter.

223
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,433
No! No! No!

224
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:10,133
Like this.

225
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:18,133
Fowah suppah, I, er, uh,
want a pawty plattah!

226
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:24,300
For sopar, I want
ahh perty plotter.

227
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,700
Quit looking so smug,
pretty pants.

228
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,733
Says who? You?

229
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,233
No, says me, you!

230
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:31,133
Wh-what's goin' on?

231
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:34,400
Forget it, kid.
No dry porking for you.

232
00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:39,133
[groaning]

233
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:49,467
Fowah suppah,
I want a pawty plattehr!

234
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:51,233
Wait a minute.

235
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,333
Throw some "er"s and "uh"s
in there.

236
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,500
What's your hurry?
Fowah...

237
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,500
Fowah...

238
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,767
- Suppah...
- Suppah...

239
00:09:57,767 --> 00:10:00,433
- I, er, uh...
- I, er, uh...

240
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,733
- Want...
- Want...

241
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:02,967
- Ah...
- Ah...

242
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:04,000
- Pawty...
- Pawty...

243
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,200
[together]
Plattah!

244
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,400
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

245
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,133
[together]
Er, uh, makeovah!

246
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:12,767
(men)
* Makeover, makeover

247
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:14,533
* Makeover, makeover

248
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:16,000
* Makeover, makeover

249
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000
* Makeover

250
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000
[knocking]

251
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,367
* Makeover, makeover

252
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:20,900
* Makeover, makeover

253
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,667
* Makeover, makeover

254
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:23,900
* Makeover

255
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,233
* For you and me

256
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,867
Wait. One last thing.

257
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:33,867
You look like an angel.

258
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,367
Stamos!

259
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:38,533
Damn him and his jet-black hair
and winning smile!

260
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,467
Oh, I'm a failure!

261
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,067
A failure!

262
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:45,833
I'm so disorganized.

263
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,900
I never call anyone back.

264
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:52,067
You should see my car.
It's a mess!

265
00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:53,767
I'm a mess!

266
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,867
I go to the submarine
sandwich restaurant,

267
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:58,533
and I leave my submarine
sandwich restaurant value card

268
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,900
at home every time.

269
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:05,400
Oh, I want a free sandwich.

270
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,767
[echoing]
Stamos!

271
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,567
[sobbing]

272
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:14,433
(Toots)
Now, I may be blind,

273
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:15,767
but I still recognize

274
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:18,500
the sound of my foster
granddaughter's laughter.

275
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,433
[laughs]

276
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:22,233
You hear a good pope joke
today at school, honey?

277
00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:24,900
No, Toots.

278
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,700
I'd kind of like to be alone.

279
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:30,200
Was it the one where two popes,
they walk into a bar, right,

280
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,833
and Pius XXI says...

281
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:33,900
he says--

282
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,200
It's Abe.

283
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,700
I really like him,
and I wanted him to like me,

284
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,200
so I let him give me
a makeover,

285
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,300
and look at me.

286
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,600
Look at me!

287
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,600
I can't look at you, Joanie.

288
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,533
I'm a blind man!

289
00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:49,333
But I can do something better.

290
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,167
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

291
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,167
- What?
- Hmm?

292
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:53,167
Oh, please, God, no--

293
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:54,333
Makeover!

294
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,600
(men)
* Makeover, makeover

295
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,400
* Makeover, makeover

296
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,900
* Makeover, makeover

297
00:11:58,900 --> 00:11:59,900
* Makeover

298
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:00,967
[horn honking]

299
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,333
* Makeover, makeover

300
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:04,067
* Makeover, makeover

301
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:04,933
* Makeo--

302
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,300
* For you and me

303
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,533
[Joan sobbing]

304
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:12,067
Oh, you don't need
to thank me, Joanie.

305
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,700
Your joyful sobs of gratitude
are thanks enough.

306
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,267
Well, I'm late
for a tennis match.

307
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:18,667
[whistling]

308
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:19,867
[Joan sobbing]

309
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,800
Great. It's crying.

310
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,167
Just leave me alone.

311
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,533
Just leave
my boyfriend alone.

312
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,800
[sobbing]

313
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,867
Can you pass me my blush?

314
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:29,900
Your what?

315
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,567
The blush.

316
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:32,867
It's makeup.

317
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,467
You know, like what your mom
throws at you

318
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:35,767
when the vodka runs out?

319
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:38,900
I never had a mom, okay?

320
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,300
Joan, I didn't know.

321
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,733
[whispering]
I didn't know

322
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:46,633
you didn't have a mom.

323
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,867
Oh!

324
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:50,067
For a second there,
I felt bad for you

325
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,067
even though everything's
going great for me.

326
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:53,100
Is that crazy?

327
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,100
No, it's sympathy.

328
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,933
You know,
I may regret this,

329
00:12:57,933 --> 00:13:01,067
but I have some old lipstick
I need to get rid of.

330
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,767
You'd be doing me a favor

331
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:04,767
if I could get rid of it
on your face.

332
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:07,500
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

333
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,967
- Makeover!
- Suicide!

334
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,467
(men)
* Makeover, makeover

335
00:13:10,467 --> 00:13:12,100
* Makeover, makeover

336
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,667
* Makeover, makeover

337
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,700
* Makeover

338
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,800
(both)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

339
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,300
(men)
* Makeover, makeover

340
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,700
* Makeover, makeover

341
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,333
* Makeover, makeover

342
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,333
* Makeover

343
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,333
[siren wails]

344
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:25,967
* For you and me

345
00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:29,133
Cleo, I haven't gotten around
to your prom-posal yet,

346
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,633
but I found something
that I'm pretty sure

347
00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:34,467
you'll be just
as excited about.

348
00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:37,067
It's Emmett
from under the overpass!

349
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,600
He's agreed to take Joan
to the prom

350
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,300
in exchange
for some rubbing alcohol.

351
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:43,267
The government's putting
fluoride in the tap water.

352
00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:45,467
Oh, I think
Joan's gonna get someone

353
00:13:45,467 --> 00:13:47,267
even better than Emmett, Abe.

354
00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:49,500
I just finished
giving her a makeover.

355
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,733
She's about to make
her dramatic entry

356
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:53,667
coming down the stairs.

357
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,667
[dramatic orchestral music]

358
00:13:56,667 --> 00:14:06,167
*

359
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:07,700
I present to you

360
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,833
the new and improved,

361
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,367
new Joan of Arc!

362
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:13,067
[gasps]

363
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:17,367
Oh, my God.

364
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,800
[dramatic orchestral music]

365
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,733
(Abe)
Joan?

366
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:29,867
You look--

367
00:14:29,867 --> 00:14:32,200
Like a slutty
teenage beach whore.

368
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,200
Yeah, I know.

369
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,467
You guys, I don't need

370
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:36,533
to pretend
to be someone else, you guys.

371
00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,933
No,

372
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,533
you look like an angel.

373
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,100
Do you like it?

374
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:46,433
Like it?
This changes everything.

375
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:49,967
Joan, would you please come...

376
00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:52,933
pile a list of guys
you'd like to go to prom with?

377
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,267
I mean, now I could get you
a date with any guy in school,

378
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:56,267
maybe even--

379
00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:58,667
Abe! I'm Cleopatra.

380
00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,633
So quit your stammering
and start your plannering,

381
00:15:01,633 --> 00:15:02,733
prom-posal-wise.

382
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:04,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

383
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,567
But you got to admit,
Joan looks...

384
00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:07,733
I'm Cleopatra!

385
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,567
Hot.

386
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:14,333
(JFK)
Oh, ladies...

387
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:19,200
say hello to GFK.

388
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,833
(woman)
Who is the fox?

389
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,467
[women sighing]

390
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:27,067
He's like a shorter,
browner Kennedy, mm.

391
00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:31,900
Don't, er, uh, damage
the merchandise, ladies.

392
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,067
And by merchandise,

393
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,100
I mean my junk!

394
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:38,667
Hey, Gandhi.

395
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:41,067
Um, I've been thinking
about prom,

396
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:45,200
and that dry thing
sounds pretty keen.

397
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,967
Well, this isn't easy, but--

398
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:50,567
Oh, my God, GFK,
you are so taking me to prom.

399
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:52,233
[slurping]

400
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:53,233
(Gandhi)
Er, uh--

401
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:54,467
(Catherine)
Oh, my God.

402
00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:57,067
Oh, my God, GFK.
Oh, GFK.

403
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,067
[sniffles]

404
00:15:58,067 --> 00:16:00,700
They grow up so fast.

405
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:01,800
[glass shatters]

406
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,867
Stamos!

407
00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:07,633
Why not me?

408
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,867
I work so hard!

409
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:17,700
Nobody knows...in here!

410
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,333
I have so much love to give!

411
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:25,767
[coughing and choking]

412
00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:29,600
I have an idea,

413
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:34,067
an idea that can make you
as good as new.

414
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:39,400
Are you programmed to be
thinking what I'm thinking?

415
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,133
[together]
Makeover!

416
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,767
(men)
* Makeover, makeover

417
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:44,867
* Makeover, makeover

418
00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:47,533
Elephants,
where are your tap shoes?

419
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:48,900
Flamingos,

420
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,300
it's flamingo, elephant,
flamingo, elephant,

421
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,600
not flamingo, flamingo,
elephant, flamingo.

422
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,733
God!

423
00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:55,533
Dolphins,
Start your propellers!

424
00:16:55,533 --> 00:16:56,667
Come on!

425
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,833
Amateurs.

426
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,067
(Cleo)
Okay, Abe.

427
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,100
I'm ready for your prom-posal.

428
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:04,967
All right, Cleo.
Here goes.

429
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,833
Cleopatra Smith,

430
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:09,167
will you
go to the prom with me?

431
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:10,500
Yes, Abe.

432
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,067
I, Joan, would love
to go to prom with you.

433
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,167
[groaning]

434
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,767
(all)
Who you gonna ask, Abe?

435
00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:20,733
[dolphin chattering]

436
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,800
[yells]

437
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,067
[panting]

438
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,900
It was all a dream?

439
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,333
But what does it mean?

440
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,400
[gasps]

441
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:36,667
[both laughing]

442
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:39,933
Oh, GFK, we've had
some good times.

443
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,600
Like the time
I bet I could get

444
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,100
that pathetic Gandhi
a prom date.

445
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,633
[both laugh]

446
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:46,633
What?

447
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,700
Er, uh--er, uh--uh--

448
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,767
Tell me I was a bet!

449
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,067
Tell me!

450
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,067
Look, champ,

451
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:54,567
it started as a bet,

452
00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:56,800
but then I warmed to you,
you knucklehead.

453
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,433
Hey, you want
one of my prom dates?

454
00:17:58,433 --> 00:17:59,433
Have a Bronte.

455
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:00,667
Forget it.

456
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:04,333
I am, er, uh,
no longah GFK.

457
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,133
My name is Gandhi.

458
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:16,500
Holy crap, Gandhi,
forget about prom.

459
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,067
Ciao.

460
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:21,867
You know what JFK
stands for in my book?

461
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,900
Just feigning kindness.

462
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:28,233
He's got you pegged, Kennedy.

463
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,767
He's got you pegged.

464
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,100
Oh sure, now you talk.

465
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,567
But when I needed you,
you clammed up on me.

466
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:36,433
Well, if you're gonna lash out
at me like that,

467
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:39,333
maybe you should just leave.

468
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,067
I'm not leaving till you are.

469
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:49,067
What a wonderful outfit!

470
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:52,233
Why, this cravat alone
would look great with jeans.

471
00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:55,633
And it draws the eye away from
how incredibly low-waisted I am.

472
00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:57,633
Yeah.

473
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,467
Oh, I feel like a king,

474
00:19:00,467 --> 00:19:04,767
the kind of king that would
reign over this year's prom.

475
00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:06,900
That gives me an idea,

476
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,200
a Stamos-neutralizing idea.

477
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,300
[laughing]

478
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:16,967
Oh, nothing can destroy
this happy mood I'm in.

479
00:19:16,967 --> 00:19:18,467
Scudworth.

480
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,233
I'm looking
at a certain videotape here

481
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,900
called Cloney Island:
My Plan to Steal the Clones

482
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,267
Away From the Shadowy Board:
The Movie.

483
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,167
I've never heard of it.

484
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,800
Scudworth, we're going
to take the clones away

485
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,667
and terminate you...

486
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,233
on prom night.

487
00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:35,833
Ah! Ah!

488
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:37,733
Oh, oh!

489
00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:39,100
Ooh!

490
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,367
[dull thud]

491
00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:45,067
Marie. Marie.

492
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:48,433
Oh, I'm so glad I found you.

493
00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:51,267
I'm sorry I've been
such a jerk lately.

494
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:55,867
And I wanted to know,
if it's not too late...

495
00:19:55,867 --> 00:19:58,600
will you go to the prom
with me?

496
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,033
- Yes...
- Oh, thank God.

497
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,533
Terday
I would have said yes.

498
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:04,300
But now I know
what an ass you are,

499
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,733
so today my answer is no.

500
00:20:06,733 --> 00:20:10,600
I already have a date--
Rock Hudson.

501
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,833
He really knows
how to treat a lady.

502
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:15,967
Now I'll have to go...

503
00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:20,300
staaaaag!

504
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,567
All right.

505
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:27,167
I know this isn't a fancy
or elaborate proposal,

506
00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:29,767
but...

507
00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:32,867
you've always been
the one for me.

508
00:20:32,867 --> 00:20:36,867
You're my friend
and so much more.

509
00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:40,533
So I'm gonna ask you to the prom
by saying the words,

510
00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:43,033
"Will you go
to the prom with me?"

511
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,633
followed by your name.

512
00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:47,067
Ready?

513
00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,300
Okay.

514
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:54,433
Will you go to the prom
with me...

515
00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:55,367
Jo-Cle--

516
00:20:57,533 --> 00:21:00,533
[dramatic orchestral music]

517
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,633
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way back in the 1980s

518
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,600
* Secret government
employees *

519
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,400
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

520
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,433
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

521
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:18,300
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

522
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,267
* They're gonna make
it if they try *

523
00:21:21,267 --> 00:21:24,100
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

524
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:30,467
* Time to laugh and
shiver and cry *

525
00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:33,633
* Clone High